Stop waiting for a broken system to change and empower yourselves today!
- Katie Walker
- Jun 24, 2025
- 4 min read
The mainstream system is well known to cause trauma within families caring for neuro diverse children. Perhaps in the form of;
Long waiting lists.
No early intervention recognition.
Parental stigma.
Parental blame.
Failure for child interventions to be placed within mainstream schools.
Disbelief.
Misunderstandings.
Misrepresentations within important reports.
Trauma from the mainstream system can include decreased self belief, decreased self worth, burnout, decreased self confidence, anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, mood disorders, auto immune disorders, crippling loneliness and isolation to name just a few!
Two additional types of trauma that can affect parental wellbeing are caring responsibility trauma and cultural trauma. To learn more about how these traumas influence our health and ways to safeguard our family from them, please listen to the SEND PARENTING BALANCE PODCAST, accessible on all major podcast platforms or via the website - link below.
How can we empower ourselves, protecting ourselves against mainstream trauma and the stress of our caring responsibilities?
Acknowldgeing your own mental health is important. Personally, I suffer periods of burnout, anxiety and low mood due to the caring responsibilities of my children. I have to acknowldge that I am angry and frustrated at the system. I acknowledge I have no one to talk to about this at times and it feels isolating. I acknowledge that I feel left behind in life and can occasionally feel resentful of my caring responsibilities. I acknowledge that I’m stressed and that I too need support if I am to be strong for the children. I attend weekly counselling. This is really important to me because we all need that safe person who understands what we are going through and I am incredibly isolated. It’s important that I too can emotionally regulate and have an outlet that works for me to feel heard and validated in a world that can sometimes feel that I am not properly a part of at times.
If you're like me and believe you could benefit from talking to someone who truly understands, and you want to regain control by reducing your feelings of stress and isolation, then explore the link below—I can help!
You’ll be suprised at just how speaking to someone can change your mood for the whole day ahead.
The other part of empowerment is with the mainstream world . Yes EHCPs take for ever but we don’t have to wait. Personally, I have created a care plan for my children. I take it to professional meetings highlighting what my child needs and why (even without diagnosis yet). It also has a space for school to input what interventions they are willing (or not willing) to put in place, holding schools accountable. It's important to approach meetings professionally, as you are the expert on your child's needs. Enter the room prepared, with your care plan and action plan ready.
I can help check out the care plan link below:
Creating a care plan is empowering rather than making one feel victimized. A care plan addresses every need, from the smallest details to more complex challenges, regardless of whether there is a diagnosis. It is the most empowering action you can take when working with any professionals.
The third method of empowering ourselves is through our children. It’s undoubtedly challenging and, at times, exhausting. However, it's crucial to empower ourselves to minimize violence and emotional instability at home. Implementing strategies like 'connect before correct' and 'PANDA PDA approaches' with your child can be advantageous. Instead of following societal parenting trends, focus on connecting with your children and developing your own approach. Remember, you don't have to do this by yourself. I am here to help and support you every step of the way. Follow the link below to sign onto the course Breaking Barriers; Building Belief and you'll have 8 weeks access to downloadable videos, podcasts, blogs, template letters for school and unlimited email support with me - Katie!
We talk all things behaviour including vioence and meltdowns. From smaller things like brushing teeth and sensory impairments to big things like reducing violence, anxiety, burnout, OCD, gaming and school attendance.
Finally set boundaries with yourself. What do you need to regulate your nervous system in this moment? Filling out a complaint letter ? How are you going to do that while regulating your nervous system?
Do you need to exercise out that frustration first? I do!
Do you need to make sure you’ve had a good night sleep the day before?
Do you need a body double? I can help with that by the way.
Do you need to get all your frustration and anger out with a friend so that when you write the letter it is not emotionally loaded and clear. Feel you have no one who really understands? I can help. Not sure what to write in a complaint letter. I can help.
Advocating or 'fighting' within a mainstream system that is not suitable, without also managing your nervous system, can have long-term psychological and physical effects on your health. We need to alter how we interact with the system; otherwise, the consequences could be traumatic for you and your family.
Today is the time to empower yourself and avoid becoming a victim of a flawed system.
Katie xx
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