Summer Holidays are TOUGH!

Weaving through the transition of routine changes, differing expectations, loss of previous year group teacher or school and spending large amounts of time with siblings at home can be a an interesting mix of challenges for a child who also has autism, ADHD, PDA, anxiety or any other needs. Personally, the first three days for us at home were full of meltdowns, emotional regulation issues and sleepless nights but then things started to balance to a more 'normal' level of meltdowns (for us).

Sometimes do LESS not MORE.

There are days when it is more beneficial for our children with neurodiverse needs to engage in fewer activities rather than more. Therefore, it's important not to overload them with numerous activities, outings, social events, or expectations. Low-demand days play a crucial role as well. In our case, we prioritize low-demand days, with around 4 out of 7 days a week being low-demand. A high-demand day might simply involve running errands or taking a bath, without necessarily including outings. Sometimes, a day of watching youtube or a whole afternoon and evening on the nintendo switch is okay. No parental guilt attached!

Remove the parental guilt.

We often find ourselves comparing our lives to others, especially on social media or when we hear about the exciting holiday plans of friends and family. However, it's important to remember that our journeys are unique and cannot be compared. It's perfectly fine to let go of these comparisons. I often remind myself that while I could plan a similar day out or holiday, the reality might be overwhelming and unrealistic, making it incomparable. While I may feel a sense of loss over missed family opportunities and sometimes wish things were different, it's crucial to distinguish these feelings from guilt.

It is important to remember that mental health issues are just as serious as physical health issues.

If my child were in a wheelchair and unable to walk while my friends climbed Snowdon in Wales, I wouldn't feel guilty that my child couldn't participate. I wouldn't blame myself for not taking my child to climb Snowdon; instead, I would find a more suitable activity.

Consider this for a moment: If I were to bring my child to climb Snowdon, how would he feel if he were in a wheelchair? It would be too challenging for him. He might feel like he's being left behind by his peers. It's possible that he wouldn't reach the summit easily. He could become frustrated and, frankly, have a terrible day. I wouldn't opt for that experience for him; instead, I'd probably choose something more suitable. There's no need to feel guilty about that; it's about protecting and understading your child with support and empathy.

The reality for me and my family is that having a low-demand day playing on the Nintendo Switch when the world feels too challenging and overwhelming is required regularly. That is completely fine. Two weeks into the summer holidays and we have managed an afternoon at the farm (see above photo) and a day at the zoo. One thing each week is just enough for us at the moment; That one activity may be in the house or outside. It may be just for a couple of hours or it may be for the whole day; It depends on the mood of the day.

I cant compare against incomparible examples, I am on my own journey, taking one difficult day at a time.